Part 72: Episode LXX: Trolling My Future Self

Episode LXX: Trolling My Future Self




Music: Fortress of Lies (Vocal)



She’s probably waiting in her room now.



Welcome back to space. It’s been quite a while since we’ve visited the Bunker. 9S has skipped past the recent millennia backstory recap and meeting the newly respawned 2B in the hall for a daily hailing to the glory of mankind. He instead opts to jump right ahead to 2B’s reboot diagnostics session.



We’ll go link up with 2B and get her sorted out in a minute. For now, we’ve gotten a new mail notification. We actually have access to both 2B and 9S’s emails for... some reason. 2B will receive the exact same mail 9S gets throughout Route B. So I don’t really get the point. Also some mail has been deleted between routes, mostly main plot relevant stuff but... not all of it? There’s a bit of clutter relevant to sidequests (that both 2B and 9S can complete) that still remains as well.





Now that we’re Hackerman 9S, the Bunker IT Staff was nice enough to add a Hacking practice area to Access Points. Or maybe it was there the entire time and just disabled in 2B’s settings because she’s an idiot combat robot that just hits things with sticks.





There is a Challenge Mode and Training Mode available with hacking. Training Mode just offers a host of scenarios where 9S can practice his hacking skills. I see zero reason to ever use this since buddy, there ain’t no lack of hacking chances in Route B. I don’t *think* there’s any reward doing these. At least I did all 20 available and got fuck all.









Challenge Mode, on the other hand, just tosses 9S into the deep end with an unending stream of consecutive hacks of increasing difficulty with Ironman rules in effect (three hits and we’re done.)



Challenge Mode does offer rewards for surviving long enough. There’s only 12 levels of challenge mode available at the start of the game. It goes up to 48 levels. The reward for completing the entire end game Challenge Mode is a suite of pretty decent +7 Plugin Chips along with 50,000 G. Which is pretty ehh for like ten minutes straight of the hacking mini-game. There’s no achievement or anything tied to this nor does anyone acknowledge 9S’s elite hacking skills if it’s completed. But it’s there if anyone REALLY feels like getting their hacking on beyond the 18,000 times 9S will be doing hacks in the future.



Now then, let’s get back on task and reunite with 2B in her room.



9S, please don’t stare up your unconscious partner’s skirt. Yes, it’s highly irresponsible for 2B to go into standby mode pointing in that direction. That’s no excuse.



To continue, we need to move 9S to a less unfortunate angle of approach and hack into 2B to begin her diagnostic session. Remember that...?



First, you’ll want to check your brightness settings.



Hey... So you remember how there was a little recording indicator when we did this the first time and 9S mentioned as much. Turns out they weren’t kidding around! We get no control over this part of the game. Instead we get to be 9S watching 2B, our former self, fuck around with option settings. In real time... So if you screwed about with getting the brightness settings perfect or got up to take a quick piss... guess what, idiot! That was a real rude thing to do to 9S and now it’s coming back to haunt you.



......
Okay, I found the guide! If you can just follow that, it’ll make things easier.



Let’s start by getting the brightness set.
<fucks around trying to get the levels visible for 40 seconds>
Okay. How does this look?
<silently types out a grammar nazi diatribe how it’s actually spelt “OK” and 9S should know better, wasting a minute of everyone’s time. Still answers with “Okay” to progress.>
Roger that. Oh, and I should probably let you know that this entire process is being recorded for posterity.



Seems your voice recognition is set to mute, which isn’t gonna work. I’m gonna call out to you now—make sure you can hear my voice.
Ma’am? Are you there? Can you hear me? Uh, hellooo? Go ahead and adjust your settings so you can hear me, all right? Adjust the settings until you can hear my voice. Er, could you try and pick up the pace a little bit? This is getting embarrassing... Ma’am? Are you there? Can you hear me? Uh, helloo—
<Hits confirm after 9S’s dialogue is confirmed to be looping>



Oh, uh, th-thank you! ...Anyway, that takes care of the settings.
(Ngh!? What the heck? My pulse rate is rising! Hmm... It seems to be back to normal now. How odd.)
Er, hold on. Your self-destruct permissions are missing. Wait a sec, we need to restore those.



<Leaves off>
Huh? Wait, no. You need to leave that turned on.
<Naw>
Yeah... you can’t really do that. It needs to be turned on except in very specific cases.
<Fuck the police!>
I’m afraid I can’t leave this as-is, ma’am. Please give your permission.
<Get bent!>
Hey, come on now! I’m just trying to follow regulations here.
<This will just lead to most people trying it out and getting a bad ending.>
Hey, come on now! I’m just trying to follow regulations here.
<Your dialogue is looping now. Fiiiiine.>
Okay, good. If things go wrong during an op, you may have to sacrifice yourself in order to finish it, sooo... Once you’re finished making adjustments, you can go ahead and close this.
<Wait changed my mind. Eat it, dweeb.>
I know no one LIKES the idea of self-destructing. But that’s what regulations call for. Still, I’ll keep it a secret from the Commander.
<Flips it back on just to be contrarian>



I’m gonna tap you on the shoulders, all right?
<minor control vibration>
LIE: <No.>
Huh? That’s odd. Everything should be set up correctly. Here, let me try somewhere else. I’m gonna tap you on the arm this time, okay?
<moderate rumble>
LIE: <Nope. Are you actually doing this blindfolded?>
Huh? Really?
(2B must have felt that... Maybe she’s just messing with me.)
Well, if you say so. How about this?
(Should I tap her here, though? She might get angry at me.)
<advanced rumble>
LIE: <No. Also silently sending a memo to YoRHa’s HR department>
*exasperated* Are you serious...? You didn’t feel anything just now...? Well then, let’s try something else.
(No turning back now, I guess...)
<controller goes nuts for like 10 seconds>
...Well?
LIE: <No. Letter to HR Department now sent.>
Hmm... I don’t know what’s causing this, so we’ll need to run some precision diagnostics later. Regardless, that’s the end of the check for now.





Ugh... Uhh... <sits up and puts on blindfold>



The Commander’s put me in charge of your maintenance, ma’am. I know the Operators are the ones to usually do that kind of thing. But one of them found a cache of pictures about something called a “panda”. I guess it's a cute animal and you know how that goes...
...I see.
Oh, don’t worry. We 9S models are the best around, you know. Though I suppose we’re not exactly known for our modesty.
I saw you get broken in half earlier due to falling like 30 feet.
<frown> ...Nobody said we were the most durable models.
......
9S?
Hm? What is it, ma’am?
Stop calling me ma’am. How many times do I have to tell yo—oh... Right. Just knock it off.
A-All right. If you say so, 2B. Hey—idea! Why don’t you start calling me Nines?
......
How about no?
O-oh... Okay... Well, the Commander wanted to see us about something. We’d better go see what’s up, ma—er, 2B!
Hey, is it OK if I called you “Toobie”?
<visibly glares through blindfold> No.
S-Sorry...



Off we go to see the Commander and get our mission orders to fly down to the City Ruins and link up with the Resistance. Spoilers. Before we head there, I did forget about a voiced background conversation early on in the game happening between a pair of androids hanging out in one of the staff bedrooms. Specifically, 8B’s room. Let’s go remedy that...



Hey, what do you think of my waistline?
What are you talking about?
I’ve been working out lately.
Ohh... Hey, well... Now that you mention it...
W-What?! You can’t just tell by looking at me!?
Well it’s just that... ya know, it’s hard to tell with the clothes you’re wearing.
Tch. Seriously...? I’ve been exercising my BUTT off!
Well, you should wear some tighter outfits to show off your curves. So... do you work out every day?
Well... maybe not every day... A girl has her moments, you know. But at least... once every... two or three days or so! I’m sure it was really noticeable too.
Come on, that’s hardly even trying. You have to keep up a regular pace, you know. You’re looking... just fine, though.
Tch. Well, sorry we can’t ALL be as slim as you...
Heeey! Don’t blame me just because *I* look good.
Gimme a break!



This raises a lot of questions. Like did humans give androids the ability to gain and lose weight, which seems unlikely given an earlier conversation during a sidequest where 2B didn’t seem to know about humans being able to get fat. Which means they programmed androids dumb enough to not know exercise doesn’t actually do anything for them... Well, who knows? It’s canonical that Drakenier universe androids can get drunk despite not needing to eat or drink anything besides water. Anything is possible.



In any case, let’s go link up with the Commander. None of the Operators or other idle YoRHa androids have anything different to say with 9S in the lead of this playthrough.



Maintenance finished?
Yes, Commander.
You detonated your black box in order to defeat the enemy. Bold, but risky. Try not to be so reckless next time.
Specifically, try not to ram your Flight Units into anymore walls. Do you know how much a single one of those cost? I could jettison the entire deck of Operators out an airlock and it would cost less than losing one of those. Don’t let it happen again!
Understood.
All right. New mission: You two go back to Earth and link up with the Resistance. There is an unusually dense amount of activity in a specific square mile of a ruined human city and surrounding regions that I want you all to investigate.
Got it.
Oh and one last thing... The self-destruct function is strictly prohibited on the Bunker.
...Who’d be stupid enough to self-destruct in a space station?
Nobody yet. But I just have this lingering feeling like it’s a good idea to remind you two of that fact.
Understood.
...Yeah. We’ll try not to blow up the Bunker, Commander...
Good. You have your orders.







And that’s all there is to our Bunker revisit. Unless I’m forgetting something, Route B doesn’t get any additional sidequests up here. So beyond the brief mandatory story visit, this is the last we’ll see of the Bunker for quite some time.





That concludes Chapter 1B of NieR: Automata. Tune in next time as we begin our speedrun through the next several chapters of the game. We have to go unlock goddamn Fast Travel again via the same story mission in Chapter 5 and there’s all of like... three new scenes during that time.






Video: Episode 70 Highlight Reel





The Bunker Concept Art – I think there’s only one very brief shot of the outside of the Bunker and it’s not for some time. Here’s what it looks like if you were wondering.